So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I need to stop coming to work sober
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
