and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
it's great music for shaving your balls
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
