sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
