So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Randomize
