why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
FUCK WHALES
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
