would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I need moral support for this bender
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
