It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
