There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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