can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
