I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
