Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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