I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
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