i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
I have post one night stand depression
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