he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
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