Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
