Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
