It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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