dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
