if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize