So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
