Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
