i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
