Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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