I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
