Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Randomize
