it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
the condom got lost in my hair
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Randomize
