So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
