I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
