where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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