i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
