So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
