I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Randomize
