You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
