there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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