it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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