Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
There's always time for handjobs
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
