so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Randomize
