If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Randomize
