Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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