Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize
