"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
