Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Randomize
