Quick, to the slutcave!
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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