wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Randomize
