im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
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