some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
