Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Randomize
