As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
