You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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