Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
