I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
