Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Randomize
